#1 for #2s


Andrew Vitale

During my time at Chaminade I have experienced multiple runs to the bathroom.  One might say I’m an expert on the many different rooms to rest around Chaminade’s campus.  Starting in 6th grade I have experienced every bathroom, from the basement bathroom to the upstairs Skip.  In this time, I’ve concluded that there are 13 notable bathrooms on the campus for students to go when they have to go.  Here is the definitive ranking:

Note: In my rankings I will consider the cleanliness, traffic, smell, and accessibility.

13: Cafeteria

By far the worst bathroom in this school to go is the cafeteria bathroom. This bathroom is fine if you want to go quickly before lunch, but do you not want to stay in this bathroom longer than 2 minutes. This bathroom gets the smells from the lunchroom and can make you lose your appetite.  Also, the big stall for going to the bathroom doesn’t even fully lock. The bathroom is always packed. The only good thing about this bathroom is the accessibility because it is right next to the atrium and the cafeteria and very central in the school.

12: Locker Room

Coming in at #12 is the locker room bathrooms. The bathroom isn’t awful but there is a huge factor that makes it bad. The locks. These stalls will not lock so you will have multiple people coming to the bathroom tugging on the door while you’re going, which is not comfortable by the way. This is why I would rank this bathroom #12.

11: 7th Grade

This bathroom could easily be number #13 if the locks weren’t good. You will be in there relaxing and next thing you know a bunch of kids will run and start squeaking about clash of clans. Also, the little guys aren’t very clean by nature.  You will be going in there notice that there is toilet paper all over the place and the toilet is filled.  No thank you.

10: Basement

The bathroom isn’t awful, but there is just so much traffic. You will go in there will be no one in there, although you will have to clean the seat off because it isn’t the cleanest restroom, but you will sit in there and will be enjoying your poop then all of a sudden…a crowd. They will be talking so loudly and the ambiance is ruined.  Nobody needs to have that much company during business hours.

9: Second Floor

The second floor bathroom isn’t bad in a pinch, but it still ranks towards the bottom.  There are so many people always using it and it is always a mess. Unless you are going there at 2:50 this bathroom will be slammed. It is very hard to take a poop in this bathroom because there are people sitting in the stalls; and since it is such high traffic you will most likely not make it to you class if you are in a hurry.

8: Fourth Floor

#8 is going to be the fourth bathroom. The bathroom is hard to get there by the time get to the top of the stairs you are out of breath, especially for those who don’t take care of their lungs.  That can also be a good thing for the rest of us, though, since it isn’t too crowded once you arrive.  Sometimes I like to be alone with my thoughts.

7: Third Floor

This was an easy pick for me, as it is in my opinion the best of the main Chaminade classroom floors. This bathroom has the least amount of traffic out of the three floors and is the cleanest due to not as many people. It is also in the middle of both floors, so it is very easy to get too.

6: 6th/8th Grade Bathroom

bathroom could easily be #1 if it wasn’t for one major factor: the kids. This place sounds like a playground in here, and the kids sometimes act like it also. If you are here when school is over or before school this bathroom is a very good choice.  It’s part of the newer addition to the building, and it makes a fellow appreciate the renovations.  You have one big stall for relaxation, and it is very clean and new, but never go in here during the day because you will be asking for a headache.

The top 5 took a lot of thinking because all these bathrooms are great and some just come down to opinion, but none the less here is the top 5.

5: Library

This bathroom is great.  You feel really comfortable due to all the privacy.  Unfortunately, you’re bound to experience the banging. When you think you are all alone watching your YouTube video you hear “BANG BANG BANG.”  At this point you’re so comfortable and so into your video there is no way you’re telling them that you’re in the bathroom, and you just hope they hear the voice of Stephen A. Smith screaming through your phone.

4: Campus Ministry

Coming in at #4 is the campus ministry bathroom. This one is in a lot of people’s top 3 — if not number 1 — but I am not just that big of a fan. I love the bathroom enough to make the top 5 but it’s not top 3 worthy. I have two major problems with it: the cleanliness and the meetings. You will be sitting there enjoying life then you all of sudden you hear a teacher meeting and you know you have to turn down your volume or you will be asked “Why are you in here” or “Go back to class.” Also, the bathrooms are alright, but the old tile gives me bad vibes.  You never know how many people have graced this room before you.

3: The Skip

Coming in at number 3 is the skip bathrooms. I know this should be number one, but there is one problem: the accessibility. Maybe that’s why this bathroom is so nice (because it is so little used) but there is no way you can run to the skip take a relaxing poop and make it back to class without the teacher absolutely yelling at you. So that’s why this is only #3.

2: The Commons

Coming in at #2 is the bathroom under the Commons right next to the gym with the 1-2-3 stalls. I have asked many people about this stall and what they thought, and they all loved it. Brady said, “That is my go-to pre-game bathroom.  Stall 3 is mine.” Carson Glynn also told me that is his pre-game bathroom. This bathroom is warm which is great during the winter and makes you feel very comfortable. It is also very clean and has something that most other bathrooms don’t have: PAPER TOWELS! This is a game changer.

1: First Floor

To no one’s surprise, #1 bathroom in the school is the first-floor bathroom. It is the cleanest bathroom in the main school building. This is my go-two bathroom if I am anywhere in Chaminade Hall. This bathroom is always clean for visitors and has the big stall and is very relaxing to sit there and watch YouTube videos. You also don’t usually have to worry about pausing your video for too long because if that person has to go, you have a 2/3 chance once they realize that the big stall is locked, they will leave the bathroom. That is why this bathroom is the #1 spot to go #2.